The Tools To Build Self Esteem

Having low self esteem is something that many children find themselves to be struggling with. Honestly, it is something that many adults still struggle with. Having low self esteem can effect a child in several different ways. For example, suffering from low self esteem can have a negative impact on social relationships, school performance, motivation, and can even lead to depression. There are several sources of low self esteem. Maybe things are hard for a child in the classroom, or they aren't as athletic as their friends or siblings, and often times for girls, they feel less popular and/or attractive than other girls in their class. Combating this low opinion of themselves can be a difficult task for parents, teachers, and students alike.

When I meet with students who seem to be having a struggle with low self esteem, my first step is to try to figure out what the trigger for the feelings might be. Once that is identified, obviously, I do my best to try and build that particular student up. However, it's my opinion that building self esteem is most effectively done when students can identify their strengths themselves.

An activity that I love to have students work on is their own personal self esteem tool kit. I have the students choose paper to cover a shoe box or any small box with a lid. From there, we talk about the things that will be included in their self esteem tool kit. This is an activity for students to work on both with me and with parents/guardians at home. One of the first things I ask them to complete for their self esteem tool kit is an acrostic of their name. For each letter, they should put something that they feel they are good at or that they feel good about. For example:

M akes really good art projects.

A lways does well in math.

R uns really fast.

K eeps up with his chores at home.

The next item to put in the tool kit is an activity for the whole family to participate in. Each family member should write a list of their favorite things about the child and leave the lists in the box as a surprise for them. Other things to add to the toolkit at home could include special cards or notes from friends, pictures of especially fun memories and of people who the child loves and who loves them, an assignment from school that the child did really well in, maybe a medal or an award certificate from an activity,  and other items that always make the child feel good about themselves. It can be anything, be creative!

The last thing I work on the child with at school is making a list of as many compliments as they can remember ever receiving. I like to put these lists and the acrostics on nice paper, and I laminate them for the students as well. Once the students have assembled their toolkits, I have them take them home and keep them with them in their room or in a safe place at home. Each night before they go to sleep, I encourage them to take out their toolkits and review all of the great things about themselves. This is an activity that I have done with several families, and it has gotten a very positive response. Not only is it a way for children to build their self esteem, but it is a way for families to acknowledge the many things they appreciate in each other as well!